Paint Dramz

We are usually very good at picking out paint colours. By “good” I mean we do it fairly quickly, are confident in our choices and never regret. For picking colours we have our own process, it works and it serves us well. We think of a tone, go to our paint chip “deck” (we bought so much Behr paint, the sales associate at Home Depot gave us our very own!), spend some time talking and analyzing and then we are off to the paint counter. With this house, however, picking out paint hasn’t been so simple.

First there was the issue of the wall colour in the beach-themed-bathroom. This bathroom has been a bit of an issue since the start because one of us wasn’t on board with the design choice. He eventually accepted… or realized he had no choice and should at least provide some input so it could go at least a hair in the direction he wanted. At any rate, we pick out a paint colour, get it home, paint a sample on the wall and “NOPE”. WRONG. It was ballerina pink and although we love pink (the dining room ceiling of our last house was bubble gum pink and the bathroom hot pink), this was NOT what we were looking for. So, back to Home Depot we go. The lovely lady at the paint counter thought we could save the gallon of paint but we would be limited to what we could choose on account of the complex formulas associated with paint colour. It isn’t a matter of just tossing in a pinch of this and a dash of that – this isn’t a salad – rather, it is a scientific formula predetermined by the computer program. Fine. We got it figured out and are now happy with the wall colours in the beach-themed-bathroom (reveal yet to come).

Yesterday, after much debate and discussion, C and I decided on a wall colour for the entryway. This colour was a challenge because we started out in the taupe arena and ended in the emerald green arena (#compromise). So with the colour name memorized we swan into Home Depot ready for our paint. The lovely young man, Joe, behind the counter takes our order, we say we will be back in a bit and away we go. We come back a while later having filled our cart with necessities and Joe shows us the paint. The can is tightly closed so it takes a minute to get it open – the anticipation is building – and voila! RECOIL. NO. CLOSE IT. WHAT IS WRONG. OMG. “Joe, can you show us the paint chip, please?” Sure enough, Joe did an excellent job mixing the colour we had asked for. However, WHY in the name of God did we ask for that?

There was a long pause before I finally said “This isn’t right. It is too light… too white”. Joe offers to “darken-er-up” for us and I said great. He grabs the two gallons of paint and heads back to the mixer. C jumps in with “WHAT does he mean by ‘darken-er-up’?” I don’t know! What happened to the scientific formula and the complexity of the computer program? Obviously neither were no match for Joe’s ability to deliver exactly what any customer wanted. Dear God “UM JOE, can you hang on a second”. What I really wanted to say was “THIS HOME RENOVATION BUDGET IS TEETERING ON THE EDGE OF COMPLETE BLOWOUT AND WE CANT AFFORD TO RUIN TWO GALLONS OF PAINT”, instead “Can we talk about colours first before we start throwing in dye willy nilly”. Sure. He thought that was a great idea.

As we stood waiting for Joe to deliver the next iteration of our paint colour (it took four attempts), a lovely lady waiting at the counter told us how much she loved the colours. I believe her exact words were “I work at a child care centre… I am LOVING your paint colours”. Oh great. What I really wanted to say was “Lady, we’ve been renovating our house for three months now and we are getting dangerously close to losing our minds on account of the camping-style-living in our own house and the never ending decisions coupled with everyday life. Being told our entryway is going to look like a play pen is the last thing we need right now so I am going to need you to mind your business and focus on your beige” instead, “FUN! We wondered if our last house started to look like a daycare on account of so much colour!”.

Joe hooked us up. We are now very happy with the paint colour, daycare or not, and we can’t wait to have it in our home. Overall, crisis averted and success was had. For now, anyway.

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